Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in <3 Jessica <3's LiveJournal:

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Monday, June 6th, 2005
6:37 am	MAAAAN So me and Mikey went to the beach yesterday to get some shit for my marine bio project. It was such gayness! I dont care who the fuck you are, all seaweed looks the same. And it stunk up my car so bad you have no idea. I put my seamonkeys in the water... yeah i dont see anything except for dirty water... stupid seamonkeys, i was expected so much better than some shit in the water. Yeah so i was up all night last night. got one hour of sleep. Talked to Nick at like 2 and then again at like 430 am haha. we were both working on an essay. I got a fish too, i told my dad iw as going out for school supplies and came back with a fish. His name is Dillinger and Shayna wants to eat him unfortunately. =( It's okay, ill make fish tacos out of Tapatio. MUAH HA HA. I get paid today. I'm going to pay back all the people i owe money to. yuck. only 3 weeks until i go to europe. oh man. =( sadness. whatev, not like i have anyone to come home to. blah! It's alright though, me and Jess will get reaaaaal comfortable together (not me, my twin Jessica wheldon). woo hoo. Jessica Current Mood: restless Current Music: Motion City Soundtrack- Let's get Fucked Up And Die (Comment on this)
Tuesday, May 31st, 2005
11:53 pm	The Bright Side Of Suffering i swear that if i could i'd take it all take it all away all the sorrow and the pain i'm not responsible you always say but you need your space and this always ends the same hey, is your heart still beating? i can't stop the bleeding i've lost you completely hey, gather all the heartache i'll hold it in my hand just to lose it all again if there's a bright side to this suffering can you help me see? it's getting harder to believe you always said this would not last long but it's gone on and on and on and i just can't make it stop hey, is your heart still beating? i can't stop the bleeding i've lost you completely hey, gather all the heartache i'll hold it in my hand just to lose it all again they're right this time i wont pretend to smile because inside i'm black and i am hollow this time you've took this way too far [x5] i'm sick and tired inside i'm black and i am hollow i'm trying to find what's missing form my life and the tables have turned this life is only temporary Current Mood: angry Current Music: Scary Kids Scaring Kids (Comment on this)
Sunday, May 29th, 2005
6:44 am	I Will Wait For You Forever... So i went to emery last night. Invited George but he didnt go. =(. I went with Sean and Kyle. It was alright. We met up with Anthony and Jon. Being at emery just... i dont know... I was overwhelmed with just this need to be... i dont even know how to even fuckin explain it. I miss george, I just want to fuckin hang out with him. I want to say i miss him as a boyfriend, but i miss him a million times more as a friend and someone to talk to and make eachother laugh. ::Sigh:: It was nice though, I did get to hang out with Sean that i haven't hung out with in FOREVER. He's one of my real true friends. <333 Anyways it's 649 am and i hsave to be at work in five minutes.... i really need to quit, but ... err... my account is down to like fifty bucks. yikes. Jessika Current Mood: Sad. very very sad. Current Music: I'm Dead To You- A Dying Star (Comment on this)
Tuesday, May 24th, 2005
5:55 am	Ouch I went on a freakin' shopping spree. I almost spent every cent i had. Even bought myself a diamond ring. yikes... I'm stretching my ears. That hurts a little. I met Dan yesterday for the first time. He's cool. I got my hair did. blah. And I stopped by Mika's house and she was like WTF!!! haha. i win. Maybe Love, will find us again, for there is always, tomorrow... (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Tuesday, May 17th, 2005
6:17 am	New Friends The other day I met this guy that goes to lakewood. He's so freakin' awesome! He's into some good ass music! (no not assmusic), Last night we went to starbucks and saw jeremy. I run into him EVERYWHERE. In fact i think he's stalking me. lol jk. But yeah then me and gerald went shopping and bought a bunch of clothes. woop woop! He had an extra ticket to Zao but =( i can't go on school nights. I'm in love with my ipod... 1,000 songs and counting.. when i'm done with marco's cd collection, woooooahh man. I miss marco talking to me on the phone gossiping and giving eachother advice =*( I needa haircut. And dye too. i'm going red..... sorta.. and i want a mullet (soooo not even kidding) lol. JeXXica Current Mood: awake Current Music: Dead To Fall- You've already died (Comment on this)
Sunday, May 15th, 2005
3:44 pm	I never should have let you go, promise me, you'll stay with me forever, forever. I never should have let you go. Promise me, you'll stay with me forever, forever! I'm glad i'm talking to you again. =) yesterday was fun. after work i me and mikey (punkin) went to wally mart and bought richard's present then we nt to the 99 cent store and bought him a chippendales calendar. haha. the party was alright, me and mikey mostly ate and ate until we threwup all over eachother. We played lots of ping pong too. lol. I'm so glad we're friends, mikey <333333 DISNEYLAND. WHOEVER WANTS TO GO. WE'RE GOING TO TAKE AN ARMY OF PEOPLE. Current Mood: happy Current Music: Haste the Day - American Love (Comment on this)
Tuesday, May 10th, 2005
6:06 pm	If looks could kill you'd be a murderer HAPPY BIRFDAY JUSTIN. (if you're reading this). I'm so glad i'm talking to mikey again. He was such a good friend, and i'm glad that things are clear between us. =) . Things are okay. I'm studying for my algebra test. (i need the grade more than anything) blah The band Aiden reminds me of my chemical romance but really really good! lol Current Music: A heartwell ending- if looks could kill (Comment on this)
12:01 am	Are you There ? I'm glad pride day is coming up... =) I took my computer to andy's house and got his dad to hook me up with mac os X and all this fucking crazy shit. He put new memory in my comp and made it like it's brand new. I now have my ipod hooked up to this thing, and i fucking LOVE it . haha i'm downloading music like woah. I'm getting my ears pierced this weekend hopefully. We're having a big party for Richard's birthday. I'm glad for them, they haven't been around friends in a long time. my relationship with my parents has mended. I'm so glad because for a while it was like i was a ghost in this house. I tought my mom how to crochet and make blankets. I gotta wake up early tomorrow and do my homework, but BLAH homework is lame. haha. This school year is almost over. I can only wait. When summer comes around i have one month to relax and enjoy myself and kick off this stupid demo we're recording soon. We've gotta get that demo out before Bud and I Leave (Comment on this)
Sunday, May 8th, 2005
9:10 pm	Come Clean Today i bought an ipod. unfortunately it's not compatible with my computer. but i'm getting my comp upgraded so then it'll be fine. shit happens. but i'm glad i'm starting to talk to my old friends. I'm glad shayna called me. It made my week a hell of a lot brighter even though the call was for a simple reason. Sometimes hearing familiar voices makes you happy. The gay pride parade is coming up. I think i'm going to go alone this year. Even though last year's PRIDE parade marked mine and george's first date. That was honestly a day i will never forget. So much happened that afternoon it was amazing... haha. Well now it's time to be honest to ourselves and one another, I'm missing you a lot george... =/ Sing me something soft, sad and delicate, or loud and out of key, sing me anything (Comment on this)
Saturday, May 7th, 2005
9:46 pm	I want You To Know that.... I MISS YOUUU Today was meh. Worked all day. Came home, showered, went to the mallw ith dustin for mothers day present shopping (he ended up buying himself a HOTTOPIC SHIRT GODDAMMIT!!!!) lol. I bought my mom a necklace. =) i spend big bucks. Then afterwards i dropped off dustin at eric's house and then went to ryans and hung out with him for a while. He came back from chicago. Did you know they actually give out diplomas at hamburger university? i laughed so hard when i saw his! it says "BACHELOR DEGREE IN HAMBURGEROLOGY". haha laaaaame. I'm so going to quit at the end of the summer. I don teven need a job haha. I have no one to spend my money on. =( but that's okay. I'm so confused. Please someone tell me what the heck is going on.... Current Mood: bored Current Music: Finch (Comment on this)
Thursday, May 5th, 2005
10:11 pm	just for tonight today sucked. boring. tomorrow i might hang out with charles and have band practice which is refreshing since we finished Death 2 Camry !! the most coolest song EVER. lol . we have two songs so far: 1 Death 2 Camry 2 Giving Myself Away Through Goodbyes and we're currently working on a song dustin wrote. the 2 we have so far was written by me. =) happy happy Nathan is being a poo. Ryan is being a bigger poo by not coming home until saturday. Katie... made me feel bad the other day. I dont think she knows it yet though. Dustin made me feel bad last night. but it's okay. Charles called me today. =) we might chill tomorrow depending if he's busy or not. That crazy hottopic kid. boy i tell ya. oh yeah i forgot ACROSS FIVE APRILS @ THE ALLEN THEATRE NIGGAS June 6 i believe. i wouldn't miss that shit if my life depended on it. Name taken coming up at chain. Emery coming up at chain (,may 26?) (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Wednesday, May 4th, 2005
10:54 pm	Killing Me Softly Yep... Yep... Went to school. Went to work. Drank a pot of coffee and called up dustin and chatted for a couple of hours. I'm so glad i have him. Seriously. If it wasnt' for him i'd probably be six feet under. It's nice to know someone out there really cares for you . =). I'm trying to hook him up with a female... any takers? hm... Man work is so fun. I love just screwing around and getting paid for it. Like today... nathan asked me to get something out of the freezer.... yeah he locked me in there and turned off the lights... I almost cried cause that's my worst fear at work. Haha. They used to soak people and then throw them in the dark freezer. That's so fucked up. haha. Glad it wasn't me. You know, work is the only place where i can be friends with a lot of those people. I mean like take my friend charles... he's a gangster "straight up from compton" haha and we're so chill together and he talked to me about his problems and we're close. can you imagine me friends with a gangster? haha. we're like complete opposites. i'm scared to go to school tomorrow with the race riots. luckily i'm not black or mexican otherwise i'd be in a hell of a lot of trouble. =(. Current Mood: awake Current Music: Scars of Tomorrow (Comment on this)
Tuesday, May 3rd, 2005
8:45 pm	Death 2 Camry Wow. our band is doing good. it makes me happy. As far as homework, i'm slowly catching up. but i dont know if i have enough time to really pull myself up. it's okay there's always next year. tennis was fun today. Me and megan compared boob textures and felt up on eachother ! ewww ! haha and we have this new thing with everyone... we sock eachother in the vaginas.... wow that sounds like "nut checks" for guys. We are guys... that's pretty weird... My mommy is home from the doctors... She's not doing so well so she can't work anymore. I'm scared cause my dad might be laid off AGAIN. my family probably wont be able to pay rent this month. or next... god that's a really really scary thought. Current Music: amber pacific (Comment on this)
Sunday, May 1st, 2005
9:45 pm	You had me at incoming message... Today I went to work at 630. Dealt with crap all day today. I dont know what it was about today. It just didnt feel complete. After work i went with Katie and her boyfriend to the mall. It feels so weird to be a third wheel. I mean, i'm happy for them yeah, but it just feels like i should have someone with me. I'm not used to this. I'm used to always being with someone and having everyone else be a third wheel. Seeing them holding hands in the car, and being happy, and having their stupid little arguments like couples do. It's pathetic yeah, but you miss it sometimes... I bought Straylight Run today... I guess... I've heard this cd a million times... but i have no idea who owns it... i dont remember where i heard it from.... wtf. that's weird. I've been reading a shitload of Battle Royale. There's 15 mangas. I've read 6 so far. I find no reason to have to go out and have fun, I'd rather read haha! See? I'm still the nerd i always have been. Mangas... pshhh fancy me reading those little asian comic books. but then again it is battle royale... the best fucking movie ever. Sometimes you've got to learn to let go (Sarcastic Goodbye) - Bleed the Dream No one here is really brave (They always think so small) I know there's something out there more for me This town just makes me hate the sky (It's always gray outside) And all I wanted was to pass you by Why does my life just fall apart? When I listen to my heart You know I can't leave you behind Just keep those memories in your mind You know there's nothing left to prove (And even if I could) You know there's nothing I can do This time I've got to walk away (I don't belong here) You know I'll think about it everyday Why does my life just fall apart? When I listen to my heart You know I can't leave you behind Just keep those memories in your mind Sometimes you've got to learn to let go Current Music: Bleed the FUCKING dream (Comment on this)
Friday, April 29th, 2005
9:35 pm	Spending the night in the Emergency room... Today me and Kyle went to chain to get our tix for the next show wahoo! i bought a whole bunch so yeah, if you need one, better get it soon. I bought the bleed the dream cd today. I also bought the 18 visions cd. meh. I went to a meeting today (haven't gone to one of those in years). It was quite an experience. I hung out with jose who told me all of his dirty little homosexual secrets haha. The worst thing happened while i was there.. my grandma calls me and tells me to come straight to her house after it;s over. she NEVER does that.... So i panick a little. After the meeting I race home at a record speed and my grandma is at her door waiting for me and she tells me i have to go with them to the emergency room. So I get scared... She told me my mom couldn't breathe today so they went to the emergency room. Doctors were afraid to run tests on her because she's pregnant and they didnt want the radiation to hurt the baby so I spent all night there waiting for the doctors to decipher whether or not they should let my mother take the tests. They thought she had a blood clot in her lung. Oh my. Tests were negative though, but there is still the risk of the baby... You know, george was right, although i dont get along with my mom 98% of the time, i do love her. I really do. And i mean, i was literally SCARED when I heard about my mom. Although I tell people many times i wish she would just *poof*. hmm... My mom still can't breathe so she has to go back to the hospital again soon. (Comment on this)
Thursday, April 28th, 2005
5:16 pm	You've got everyone else convinced that you're alright Man it's weird it seemed like for a second all the couples broke up then got together within this past week... weirdness. I'm glad Lorin and Mat are together again. I love them (well mat is a poo, but that's okay). Not much with me. I freaked out today because i haven't done homework AGAIN! OH YEAH OH YEAH BATTTTTTLEEE ROYALLLEEEEE BATTLE ROYALE! Battle royale is by far the most awesome movie ever made. I've started a battle royale trend at lakewood. haha. I gave george and abraham my copy of the movie, but that's okay i'll go find another one. I started reading the mangas of battle royale today... i finished 2 books within the school hours. that is fucking nuts haha. Everyone thinks i'm so crazy cause i love that movie so much! haha. can you blame me? Okay so battle royale is about a class of 42 kids who is taken to an island and are given a collar that cannot be removed and a weapon. They have to play a game in which they must kill EVERYONE else within 3 days. There are danger zones and if they're caught in a danger zone at a certain time, then the collar will cause their heads to explode. The object of the game is to be the very last survivor on the island, and if there is anyone else alive at the end of the 3 days, then everyone's heads explode! If you're the only survivor, your only prize is to just go home.... FREAKING AWESOME! ^ Me and Lorin! (3 Comments |Comment on this)
Tuesday, April 26th, 2005
5:13 pm	Cheer up Mr Incredible I feel really bad. Things aren't so well with a lot of couples nowadays although my last entry said they were. Dustin and his girlfriend are at a confused point right now. Katie is really stressed and what not, and for me? I'm just sittin around doing nothing a lot. I can't wait for the show coming up!!! (alhtough it's stil a month away) we're gonna get so many peeps to go. Kevin, alex, me, dustin, bud, katie, KT, seth, oh man oh man. I can't wait oh no i can't. Today we had band practice without alex. WE WERE DOING SO GOOD UNTIL OUR FUCKING PA BLEW OUT!!!!!! hhahahahaa poor bud, we'll have to chip in and buy another one for him. Cheer up Dustin, things will get better I promise you that. Heartbreak isn't so bad afterall. I remember when we would laugh all night and nothing could stop us moments shared we're picture perfect memories remain Current Music: Rufio- dont hate me (Comment on this)
Monday, April 25th, 2005
6:48 pm	dear livejournal, Okay. I didnt have the internet for a couple of weeks so here i am now. I've taken the time to rethink everything. Yes i know i'm sad, yes i know everything i've done wrong. But i'm finally trying to be happy again. By myself. Just forgetting about everyone else. Although yes, i will admit it, i miss george. I miss him a lot. If it were up to me i'd be with him. That's reality. But I guess regardless i can't be happy with anyone else unless i'm happy with myself. Which i'm very slowly trying to work towards. I got my report card... yeah i'm in big trouble, but that's okay, because i have another month and a half to make it up. And it's not the end of the world. I'm trying to look at things optimistically. My mother is pregnant. the baby is due in november. She's moody as she's ever been. My dad is having his birthday party in a couple of weeks. that should be fun. I'm quitting my job soon. I need time to just be a home-person like i used to be. I miss being able to sleep in, and not worry about having to go to work and deal with a bunch of fat black women screaming that the fries aren't hot enough. I'm getting ready for my trip to europe. Hopefully i find myself there. It's nice to go somewhere and leave everything behind for a short while. I'll be sending a bunch of you letters. (even if you hate me). Yesterday i talked to an old friend (Redonna) and she helped me to realize that this isnt' the end. Even though it feels like it is, it really isn't. You'll always be with someone as long as you keep them in your heart. Sorry if i sound cliche. I'm just trying to be happy for everyone else. Things have been going great for everyone and i'm just laggin' behind, but that's okay too. Katie and Ryan are doing awesome. And dustin just got a girlfriend that i absolutely adore. I'm really really happy for him that he can find someone who will treat him right. BFF!!! MO CHIP! Band: we haven't practiced in a week or two, but Bud and I have been making some stuff up when i had the time. =) Current Mood: optimistic Current Music: Halifax-Scarlett Letter Part II (Comment on this)
Friday, April 15th, 2005
10:19 pm	Dear Livejournal Meh school sucks, life sucks. What's new? Day of silence was fucking amazing. we had such a huge turn out and everyone had my ugly face on their t shirts. =). Unfortunately i had to break the day of silence due to my working that day, but hey, i gave it my all. I have been appointed president for the gay and straight alliance next year, and stevie is my vice president. awesomeness... I'm fuckin scared... Tomorrow i have so much shit i needa take care of. I have work from 7 to whatever time, then i have to race home, take a shower, get ready, go to a barbeque, go to katie's house, film my project, come home, get ready, go to "dave's" house to see Pat's band (chaselb) and Nick's band play (plague). theeeeen before time runs out i have to race to ryan's to chill with some friends from work. You know what i was thinking? smoking pot is really pointless. no matter how hard anyone has tried, i dont get high... i really dont. Ask Bud.... Maybe because i grew up around it so much that it has no effect... =/ Sunday: work, finish project, come home, be lonely, wish i was in your arms. Current Mood: okay Current Music: Bayside (Comment on this)
Wednesday, April 13th, 2005
10:47 pm	Just Light The Match & RUN Today was very weird... Megan Murray knows why, so does katie.... OH that manson.... am i right? am i right? Yeah once again i went to bed at 8 last night and woke up late for school this morning. Istill can't get myself out of bed. Things have been bugging a lot these past few days. Confused as to where i stand on everything. katie is right, i need to reevaluate myself and everyone i hang around. In fact, katie is now appointed to mark the course of my life from here on out. lol. whatever she says goes. Todya was also crummy by nighttime... let's just say i was harrassed... and i dont know if i should tell anyone... Nothing that bad happened, but it was the close call..... ho hum.. Work was okay, I was attacked by two 12 year olds who wanted to know my age.... yeah.... so then i told the manager and had them kicked out of the store... fuckheads.... I love reading again... I know i know. but i'm becoming that nerd i was once upon a time... The one with the large ass backpack, a million books to carry, and the one who spends her lunchtime reading a nice book. I'm currently reading Dog Run by Arthur nersesian. Fucking good book... it's about a girl who is in an awful relationship where the guy doesn't do jack shit for her, and she comes home, fixes dinner, yells at him for not paying attention to her, and the realizes he was actually dead. Then as she tries to get in contact with people who knew her boyfriend, she finds out he lead a completely different life and that she never even knew him at all. Yeah... sexy sexy... waiting for a phonecall... I'm sick right now... it sucks... i lost my voice, but i guess it's okay considering tomorrow is the day of silence. hooray <33 I found out this really pretty girl at my work is a lesbian and wants to get with my friend becca the drama in a mcdonalds Current Mood: gloomy Current Music: Dont Look Down (Comment on this)